Shared Challenges

 By Amy LemieuxOne morning in October we headed up to Willow Cove West, one of two memory care units the preschoolers visit each morning. Our task that day was simple; to decorate apples for our school’s new “apple tree” – a large tree limb with several smaller branches.After painting our “tree” with glittery paints, children were motivated to decorate apples to hang on the naked tree. Off we headed to first floor, arriving in high spirits. Children buzzed around the tables, hugging and shaking hands with the familiar grandmas and grandpas. Once everyone had a place next to a senior, we were ready to begin!Each child and senior was given a plain apple cut out from white construction paper. Set out were trays of apple-colored crayons. Since the apples would hang with both sides visible, everyone was instructed to color their apples completely on both sides. Also demonstrated by a teacher was a small scribble in the middle of the paper apple, a visual reminder of what not to do.Children and seniors eagerly got to work. As always, we were reminded that what is challenging for our youngsters can be equally challenging for our elders. Within sixty seconds, many (children and seniors alike) called out, “I’m done!” holding up their small, brightly colored dot in the middle of the apple. The inability to sustain focus and to delay gratification were demonstrated with a handful of our apple-makers, while others determinedly colored away until the apple was completely covered.This speed coloring came as no surprise. Other occurrences would come as a surprise for any of you who haven’t spent time with us in memory care;• One grandma, who was eating breakfast when we arrived, began coloring the kitchen table with her hard-boiled egg, smiling at the children working around her. This continued until an aid gently removed the egg and replaced it with a sparkly red crayon, placing an apple under her hand.• Another grandma could not get her marker to work. “This isn’t working well.” The little girl next to her said, “I’ll help her,” gently removing the cap off the marker. Next this grandma proceeded to color her apple, but with the back end of the marker. Laughing, she said, “It STILL doesn’t work!” The little girl turned the marker so it was facing the right direction and the grandma smiled with satisfaction as her apple went from a pale white to a bright red.• A third grandma colored her apple yellow for a short time until she took a big bite of her crayon. A little girl took it from her hand, bringing it to a teacher. “She ate this crayon but it was an accident.”The other end of the age spectrum revealed similar challenges; a little boy repeatedly yelled, “I need help! I need help!” When asked what he needed, he pointed to a crayon one of the grandpas was using. “I wanted THAT one.” Though there were other crayons of the very same color available, he insisted on waiting for that particular crayon already in use. Suspended at the starting gates, he repeated “I need help!” until he had that desired crayon and magically all was right with his world.Activities like these highlight a theory called “retrogenesis,” which states that once people reach a certain stage of dementia, their brains deteriorate cognitively in the reverse order of how their brains developed from birth. For us, it is the main reason intergenerational pairing works so beautifully; every day our children have the opportunity to interact with seniors who are functioning cognitively at levels similar to theirs. But most importantly, both groups are able to give each other what they both need more than anything; time and attention.