Helping Hands
Three preschoolers are attempting to climb a boulder. One decides to try running and jumping onto the boulder. Success! They are on! Now, two others are feeling disappointed. They want to get on the boulder, too, but are having a hard time using the same method as their friend. The preschooler on the boulder immediately looks at the friend having a tough time and says, “Can I offer you a helping hand?” The preschooler’s eyes widen in excitement and they say, “Yes!” It then becomes a domino effect: the child on the boulder helps the next friend, and then that friend helps the next. They all end up on top of the boulder, feeling on top of the world!
Preschoolers are working to become independent in many ways, such as pouring water into their cups, putting gear on and taking it off, and using scissors to open their snacks. Sometimes while practicing these skills, preschoolers can get frustrated. Sometimes they spill water from the pitcher when they are pouring, or their boot is stuck on their foot. When this happens, another preschooler will jump at the chance to grab a towel and help clean up the spill or use all their strength to pry off that boot. When they work together to achieve a goal like cleaning up the floor or getting the boot off, there is discussion and excitement, and with that comes bonding and a deepened friendship. This builds community, and community is what creates a successful classroom.
These are scenes that I observe daily in our school: friends helping friends. Children notice that a classmate is having a hard day, or that they are alone, or needing help with rolling a log, or needing a boost to pull out a wagon that’s stuck in the sand. The action of offering a helping hand to someone sets a tone that supports children’s growth within a classroom setting and even outside of the classroom.
I am a mother of four. My two youngest children went to All Seasons Preschool. Their experience at All Seasons was the first time I had heard someone ask the question “Can I offer a helping hand?” in a school. One day, my daughter was having a tough morning and one of her classmates noticed this as they were walking in. Immediately my daughter grabbed the friend's hand and ran outside with her to play. Her teacher looked at me with a huge smile and said, “She’s good and ready for the day!” For a parent, this meant everything to me. My child was in loving arms and in a loving community that cared about each other.
A “helping hand” can offer both physical and emotional help. There are days at drop-off time when some preschoolers feel sad separating from their grown-ups, especially after a long weekend or break. I have noticed that if I ask another preschooler who is ready to go play to offer a helping hand to the child who is feeling sad, it completely changes the way that friend feels, and they have an easier time separating from their grown-up. They feel important and have a sense of belonging. It takes their mind away from being sad and allows them to open their mind to something else, such as playing and talking to a friend. Offering a “helping hand” is modeled by the staff as well. If a teacher demonstrates offering help to another adult, whether it’s physical or emotional, the preschoolers see this and follow that lead. If they see a teacher hugging another teacher or helping them carry supplies, this demonstrates positivity that trickles down to the students.
When the preschoolers are with the seniors in memory care, they offer helping hands to those grandmas and grandpas who might need some assistance with coloring, participating in an activity, or even picking up an object. When a preschooler offers this help, the senior’s eyes beam, and they feel a connection with that child. Some of the seniors in memory care may feel confused during moments of their day; they sometimes are unsure about what to do with the materials we bring upstairs. When a preschooler takes their hand or asks if they can help, we can see that the grandma or grandpa feels grounded and noticed. The comfort of being touched is also important for seniors. When the preschoolers shake their hands as soon as they see them, or sit on a lap while playing a game, this creates a sense of calm, and in that moment of their day they feel at ease and loved. Throughout the day, with the seniors and with each other, intentional offers of help create the kind of community where everyone belongs, and we can count on each other.
